by Laura, mother of 2

When I thought about becoming a mother I only envisioned the baby phase. My daydreams seemed to begin and end at my baby being three months old. My vision of motherhood was of me looking and feeling like I did pre-motherhood- except even better because of that special “new mother glow-” holding this beautiful cherub swaddled in a fresh blanket.  And that was pretty much it.

But sometime after my first son was born–perhaps around 18 months–I began to realize that I was a mother for life. I signed up for life! This incredible love, responsibility, and worrying that I experienced over the last eighteen months would last a lifetime. Then I thought about my own mother and all the time, effort, care, and love she gives me (and yes, still gives me even as I near 40). She would often tell me how she was up half the night worrying about my sister or me. I would hear her, but now I understood the meaning of a sleepless night spent worrying. That’s when it sunk in… my baby would always be my baby… at 3 months, at 2 two-years-old, at 6, at 13…16… 24… 32… 40… 50 and beyond!

I think it would have helped me to have this expanded vision before I became a mother. For one, maybe I wouldn’t have been so focused (and controlling) on every little phase my son went through or how I parented during each little moment. Because, god willing, this will last a long lifetime!